Expensive News –
Ghost Machines, Floating Mansions: Let’s Consider Lady Gaga
Last month the Internet exploded with some very serious news: Her Highness Lady Gagawas building a multi-million dollar floating mansion in Greece. It was going to cost $20 million. No, wait, maybe $50 million. Or was it $30 million? Really depends on which site you were clicking on. It’s supposed to look as if it is floating on the sea, like something Charles Foster Kane would have built if his turf was more jet ski and less sled. This new crib is supposedly going to be an optical illusion house. Rumor has it she’s also going to build a palace and a church to go with it just for fun. Everyone was in a tizzy about this magical floating mansion but really – why all the fuss?
This is Lady Gaga, people. A piano prodigy who wears meat dresses and Kermit the frog suits. Admittedly draping meat all over your body sounds about as pleasant as chomping into a Delta Airlines sandwich at gunpoint, but who doesn’t adore Kermit? Plus the little lifeless Kermy beret really pulled the whole ensemble together. But back to the matter at hand: The case of the floating mansion.
The point is, as a meat wearing, black perfume making superstar – what can we expect her to build? A nice Edwardian cottage upstate next to Martha Stewart so they can trade crafting secrets? A two-bedroom condo in Reno close to the slots? It’s actually surprising she’s not building this floating mansion entirely out of white stingray hides or, well, Kermit dolls. Lady Gaga’s M.O. is to entertain us, anger us, make us talk, and give us something to look forward to in addition to the high drama of her shows and her Grace Jones inspired (or stolen, depending on your attitude) wardrobe.
Just think – we get to gossip and speculate about this house for months or however long it takes to finish. Maybe she’ll pull a Will and Jada and allow her humble castle to be featured in Architectural Digest one day. Let’s just hope that she doesn’t tell them, like Jada did, that she “wanted to feel the love and labor that went into every piece of this place.” It’s highly doubtful the Smith clan felt one iota of the labor in their paraffin treated hands. It’s also highly doubtful that the construction workers felt quite as much love as Jada did when they were hanging drywall and tiling the roof. Who knows though? In Smith-ville everything seems to be so hunky-dory that it’s possible they even manage to find the world’s most spiritual, perky construction workers who adore and praise every nail they slam.
Lady Gaga is one of the universe’s most successful musicians, and building a house in Greece might even help their struggling economy. She’ll be employing an awful lot of people, plus when it’s all said and done she’ll need an extravagant staff to maintain the thing. Maybe she can even keep the ghost-detecting machine she bought in the new house, just to be safe. That was another zany purchase by the pop star, but did you know anyone can buy paranormal detection equipment like “The Ultimate Ghost Hunting Kit” right off the Internet? You don’t have to be a zillionaire celeb to be safe. Just a little kooky – or really afraid of ghosts.
The world will watch in anticipation as Lady Gaga’s floating mansion evolves. Let’s hope it does help the Greek economy and employ some people who need it. Let’s hope she does reveal her magnificent floating living room and her astounding floating bathroom in Architectural Digest. And finally let’s hope against hope that she doesn’t say her construction workers built it with love.